5 Things I Would Tell My High School Self

On June 24, 2013, I hit a milestone.  A big one.

20 years ago, on that date, I stood with 364 of my classmates on Cherokee High School's football field in Marlton, NJ and got my high school diploma.  As I sat in that crowd on the field as the sun set, my white cap affixed upon my Jersey Girl, Aqua Net styled hair, we celebrated the highs and lows of our four years in the hallowed halls of our high school.  We remembered students tragically lost, we congratulated our high achieving comrades and we marveled at those who had actually managed to graduate by the skin of their teeth.   We looked forward to our futures and swore we'd "Stay the Same!" and "Never Change!".   Our futures were bright and we were excited.  And our hair was huge.  HUGE, I tell you.

Well, I don't know about you, but for me, the future got here much faster than I ever anticipated.  Where did those 20 years go?

As preparations for the Class of 1993's reunion have been underway, I've thought a lot about what 2013 Me would say to 1993 Me.  Life has been exceedingly kind to me in many ways, however, there are bits of knowledge that 1993 Me REALLY could have benefitted from sooner than later.  I mean, even just knowing that salons would have revolutionary hair care products for gals with kinky curly hair would have made the early 90s more bearable for me.  And, if I'm being honest, knowing that Dylan wound up following Brenda to England wouldn't have sucked either.

In the more serious realm, though, I've compiled a list of the bigger pieces of truth that 2013 Me would tell 1993 Me.  I'm leaving out the obvious things like who wins the presidential elections, MJ's demise and the fact that scrunchies will no longer be a necessary hair toy.  Rather, these are truths that my 1993 self could have used to make the 20 year journey to now a tiny bit easier.

5 Things I Would Tell My High School Self

1)  Travel Now, While Your Standards Are Still Low

One of my biggest regrets is that I did not travel overseas more when I was fresh out of high school.  With the demands of college and the financial restraints, it always seemed more sensible to work all through the summers.  I spent my summers chained to a desk doing secretarial work when I should have been backpacking throughout Europe and staying in hostels.  There's a reason they are called YOUTH hostels:  they are not necessarily the hotel of choice for a grown up with more exacting tastes.  A trip to Europe with the standards you have as a grown up costs about the same amount as a year of college.  Travel now while you don't mind sleeping with a bunch of other smelly travelers and while flying coach seems like a treat.  Even if you have to pack up your tiny Neon and make your passengers pay for gas, get in that car and see the world as cheaply as you can.

2)  You Will Be Friends With Everyone Eventually....on Facebook.

Let's face it:  high school can be a rough time socially.  While I was never a social outcast, I wasn't exactly Miss Popularity, either.  I had my core group of friends and remember my high school years fondly....but I also remember feeling out of place and not cool enough.  Although, come to think of it, that *might* have to do with the fact that when I was allowed to drive to school, I did so in a Celebrity station wagon (that, and I spent the majority of my fall afternoons spinning a flag in white spandex bedazzled with orange sequins....the height of cool, no?).   I watched The Cool Kids from the side lines and I'm not gonna lie:  I had my feelings hurt a time or two.  But, a magical thing happens about 10 years after you graduate:  you get over the hierarchy of high school and throw the social rules out the window.   You will find yourself "thumbs upping" that Cool Kid's post about being a new mommy and you will be thrilled for her.   And, by 20 years out, you will invite anyone from your senior class to your house if they promise to bring wine and tell you how young you look (as from above:  standards change....).

3) Your First Love Helps You Find Your Lasting Love

We all have one:  our High School First Love.  The first person you dated seriously and to whom you said "I love you" and meant it.  The person you spent every waking weekend minute with at football games, friends' houses and local restaurants.  The person that, at the tender age of 17, you were convinced you couldn't live without and whom you locked lips with before 6th period English at your special meeting spot near the gym.  The person that would either be forever known as your High School Sweetheart after you'd married or eventually break your love struck, high school heart.

Turns out, for me, my High School First Love served a second purpose beyond teaching me about heartache:  to help me recognize my lasting and True Love.  My First Love and I broke up a few years into college and while it was sad and hurtful, we both knew it was the right decision.  I loved him and he loved me but, eventually, we both found partners who loved us better and who loved us the way we needed and deserved to be loved.  And, now, 20 years later, we laugh about it on Facebook as we thumbs up the pictures of each other's kids. First Love is great....but lasting love is what it's all about (read about that here).

4)  Styles Change...For The Better

As a graduate of 1993, I and my fellow classmates fell victim to many a fashion misstep.  Aside from the aforementioned white spandex and sequins, our high school class straddled the age of 80s style and the advent of Grunge.  We had big hair, parachute pants, shoulder pads as well as baby doll dresses, construction boots and flannel.  Stirrup pants were a necessary part of any wardrobe and we all ran around in sweaters that would fit Refrigerator Perry comfortably.  When I look back on my photos, I seriously don't know what we were thinking.  2013 ME would like 1993 Me to know that construction boots are not a part of my modern day wardrobe and that I would never be caught dead in anything made from Cavaricci today.  And if I had it to do over, my prom dress would NOT have been covered in teal sequins and white taffeta (what *was* it with me and odd colored sequins??).   I still maintain, though, that Liz Claiborne made the coolest purses ever.  Ahem. 

5)  High School Is NOT The Best Part Of Your LIfe

As anyone who watched Beverly Hills 90210, Dawson's Creek or Saved By The Bell will tell you, people want you to believe that High School is the pinnacle of the fun you will ever have in your life.  The 2013 Me calls bullshit on that, thank you very much.  Quite the contrary, in fact.  College is way more interesting and the word fun doesn't even begin to describe what life is like when you get your first job and you have money to burn.  Life after college, while terrifying at times, is exciting and it's when you can selfishly chase the dreams you couldn't afford in high school and college.  Then life takes a turn for the sweeter when you move on to married life and children....a different kind of fun altogether but nonetheless, life just gets sweeter and sweeter as the years go by.  High school is amazing  and the memories are fond but it is by no means the end.  It's only the beginning, thank goodness...

Unfortunately, I won't be able to attend my reunion in favor of making summer vacation memories with my Hubby and two fruit loops.  As much as I'd love to stand in a room with my fellow graduates and remember when, I want and need to be with my fruit loops more.  But, come Saturday night, when I know they are gathering, I will take pause to remember Drivers Ed with Mr. Chambers, spring musicals with Mr. Guerrini and Honors English with Ms. Mayer.  I will remember NHS, being known as Christina in Señoras Martin and Wang's classes and that our Band and Band Front swept the awards categories at the Haddonfield Band Competition.  I will remember the friendships that have lasted and the ones that have been strenghthend in recent years thanks to Facebook.  Most of all, I will remember myself wearing teal sequins and white taffeta hoping that the best was yet to come....