My husband Rick, who coaches a youth soccer team, was waiting with our 14-year-old son, Danny, for the rest of their team to arrive when they saw a teenage girl kicking a soccer ball. Rick asked the girl if she wanted to practice with his team and she politely declined. That well-intentioned invitation earned my husband the moniker “creeper” from Danny, as in “Dad, you’re such a creeper.” Now, my son doesn’t really believe my husband is a stalker or predator but it seems that these days any adult can be dubbed a “creeper” merely for speaking to a child he isn’t coaching, teaching or parenting…
There are movies -- such as “Schindler’s List” -- that you know you should see but don’t want to go through the experience of actually watching that kind of human horror. Knowing that the terror, cruelty and pain inflicted are based on true events from the Holocaust makes it all the more agonizing. So you steel yourself because sometimes your job as a human being is to not look away. I couldn’t bring myself to watch “United 93” when it first came out because when I rent movies, escapism usually wins out over “painful but important.” But with the 10th anniversary of September 11 upon us, it…
What a week. In the middle of interviewing someone by phone last week, I feel the house start to shake. I’m ready to lay into my teenage sons for jumping in the living room when they say, “Really mom, it wasn’t us, it was an earthquake.” They turn on CNN to prove it. Three days later, on the eve of Tropical Storm Irene, the Giant supermarket on Emaus Avenue in Allentown looks like a plague of locusts had hit the produce section. The only bananas left were a couple of black spotted ones. The red seedless grapes were decimated and the handful of Gala apples were looking like escapees. I used…
There’s a concept in social psychology that goes something like this: When other people err, we attribute it to flaws in their character; when we screw up, we blame it on circumstances – the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. So when someone else runs up credit card debt, we think “spendthrift.” When we do it, it’s because of a medical emergency and necessary student loans. Alan Jennings, executive director of the Community Action Committee of the Lehigh Valley, says he has seen this type of thinking amplified since the economy tanked. Instead of sympathizing with those who lost their …
My idea of sweet decadence is reading a good book over a cup of strong coffee in a beautiful place. Clearly, if all Americans got their kicks this way, Las Vegas would still be a desert. So there I was last week on the porch of a cabin on a shimmering lake in the Adirondacks, binging on Edith Wharton novels. Wharton, a searingly honest social observer, trained her laser vision on America’s upper crust society in the late 1800s, exposing the rigid social mores that kept women in gilded cages. My husband doesn’t understand my fascination with writers like Wharton and Jane Austen, who wrote …
There are some movies my family is so drawn to that when they come on television we watch them, commercials and all, even though we OWN them. How goofy is that? All we have to do is slip in the DVD and we can view them commercial-free, but no. They’re the celluloid equivalent of catnip or comfort food. In last week’s column about memorable movies, I gave short shrift to comedies because I wanted to zero in on films with good messages for kids. I’m not sure what the message is in the classic “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” unless it’s “Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of …
The average child costs $500,000 to raise to age 18 and the process takes great patience and energy. But, on the flip side, you get to foist your favorite movies on a captive audience. Seems like a fair trade to me. When our kids were small we started a list of the films we most wanted them to see before they went off on their own. These weren’t necessarily our all-time favorite flicks but they were memorable movies with messages we hoped they’d absorb. My list starts with films I’d show to kids as young as 6 and progresses to movies for older teens. Most are about doing the right thing, …
I’m not sure you really know what true fear is until you’ve merged onto a highway with a 16-year-old driver whose learner’s permit is fresher than some condiments in your fridge.My son, Tommy, had driven on Cedar Crest and Hamilton boulevards, as well as back roads, but he had only tackled Interstate 78 in one session with Dan Weaver, his driving instructor through Carbon Lehigh Intermediate Unit 21.Tommy assured me Sunday he was ready; I wasn’t sure I’d ever be.“Look for a gap in traffic,” I said as he pulled onto the entrance ramp. “If the gap is next to you, speed up and merge, if it’s …
In a story in the April 25 edition of The New Yorker magazine, Nancy Lieberman talked about what it was like to coach basketball in the NBA’s Development League or D-League. The 53-year-old former Olympian and pro basketball player had to find ways to connect with young, mostly African-American men who played for her on the Texas Legends. Lieberman said, “I tell these guys we have more in common than you think. Young black men don’t want to be profiled, and old white women don’t want to be profiled.” Amen to that. Young black men get profiled as dangerous and middle-aged and older white women…
The old saw “success has many parents but failure is an orphan” is never truer than when you’re dealing with actual kids. When your child brings home straight As or helps a little old lady carry her bags, it’s tempting to think “he gets that from my side of the family” or “I taught him that.” When that same kid throws a tantrum or refuses to clean his room, we think, “Where did THAT behavior come from?” We solve the “nature vs. nurture” question of child raising by assuming if it’s a fault, he was born with it; the virtues come from us. As the parent of teenagers, I know it’s a bit early to…
Sea Isle City on the Jersey Shore is a lot of things, but it is most certainly the Park Bench Capital of America. Its slogan should be “Sit your butt down here.” On the town’s promenade -- which is essentially a boardwalk without all the rides and games -- there’s a bench just about every 10 feet. Each has an inscription dedicating it to someone, often accompanied by a quote about the person’s love for Sea Isle City. The benches are an amenity for tired pedestrians, a place to stop and talk, and a classy way of reminding people that the town is a great place to be. It’s just one of the facets…
With a memory clouded by age and Alzheimer’s, my mother-in-law had a tough time placing my husband during his most recent visit. Then all of a sudden it came to her: “Do you still live in that messy house?” Bingo. Nailed it. My husband and I had a good laugh but it’s sobering to realize that our poor housekeeping is what sticks with people -- even those who love us. We are not yet candidates for the show “Hoarders” but that’s only because we’re HAPPY to get rid of stuff. We just can’t keep up with the influx of newspapers, magazines, junk mail, school papers and errant socks that my kids’ …
Journalists are right down there with lawyers and used car salesmen in the dungeon of public opinion but here’s a small example of what can happen when we’re not on the job: On December 10, 2009 Salisbury Township commissioners adopted an ordinance restricting the use of all-terrain vehicles in the township. They had followed the law, discussed the proposed ordinance at a public meeting, and advertised it in newspaper legal ads before approving it. But because the area’s main daily newspaper, The Morning Call, hadn’t covered the issue, there were no complaints about the new restrictions until…
About a dozen people gathered at Easton’s Centre Square Monday to witness and celebrate the signing of a piece of legislation they hope will be made obsolete in their lifetime. The ordinance, signed by Easton Mayor Sal Panto, grants equal benefits to city employees in same-sex relationships. Only five cities in the state -- including Allentown -- have such laws and Easton is the smallest. When the day comes that gays and lesbians are allowed to marry in Pennsylvania, the ordinance will become a relic, perhaps relegated to a museum somewhere as an example of when a little city like Easton was …
In the movie “Pretty Woman,” the beautiful hooker with a heart, played by Julia Roberts, tells the rich business tycoon embodied by Richard Gere about her childhood fantasy of being locked in a tower only to be rescued by a prince on a white horse, charging the tower with his sword drawn. In the film’s final scene, Gere, armed with an umbrella, rides in on a white limo, climbs up a fire escape to reach her and says, “So what happened after he climbed the tower and rescued her?” Roberts responds: “She rescues him right back.” So, you ask, what does that have to do with adoption? Somehow her …
I had been discussing school vouchers with Saucon Valley School Board member Ralph Puerta for half an hour before he hesitantly mentioned that he had a doctorate in education finance. In journalists’ parlance, that’s what is called burying the lead. By profession, Puerta is a metallurgical engineer but about a decade ago he decided to take a year off from work and get his doctorate in school finance at Lehigh University. He wasn’t planning to change careers, mind you. Rather, he’d been following the annual budget struggles of school districts and thought applying conservative accounting and …
In the early 1980s when I was living in Washington, D.C., two Irish friends spent a month visiting with me there and with friends of mine in other cities. Protestants were pretty much a foreign species to them and they had never met anyone who was Jewish or black so they were as curious as two anthropologists studying the lives of some remote Peruvian tribe. It made for great discussions over a pint or two into the wee hours of the morning. Their insulation came from growing up in a heavily Catholic country and attending Catholic schools. The Protestant minority in the Republic of Ireland …
It’s hard to remember now how anxious we were then. When the planes hit the Twin Towers almost 10 years ago, neighborhood moms gathered in my home and, as we watched CNN in collective anguish, debated whether to go to Western Salisbury Elementary School to bring our kids home. We didn’t know that day if the terrorist attacks were a one-time strike or the beginning of a war. With the subsequent deaths from anthrax delivered by mail to unsuspecting victims, that question would hang in the air for weeks like fallout. I actually talked to my husband about whether we should ask my parents to take…
A week ago when I asked my sons, ages 14 and 16, if they might not be a little old for an Easter egg hunt, they looked at me as if I’d shot Bambi. Too old for an egg hunt? Never! Now some might say this is a case of arrested development, but I’d argue it’s selective arrested development at most. Their own small world and the world around them is in constant flux; they hold fast to holiday traditions to be a constant in their lives. My kids love the smell of the turkey cooking on Thanksgiving morning and playing Risk with their cousins after a noisy meal with at least one awkward toast. And …
As a month of standardized testing came to a close for Lehigh Valley public schools last week, I wished the same thing I wish every year: If only more policymakers had skin in the game. Those of us with children in public schools live with the effects of well-meaning but misguided policies like the No Child Left Behind law which elevated standardized tests until they dwarfed all other tools in education. The law was championed by Democratic Sen. Ted Kennedy, who sent his kids to private schools, and President George W. Bush and House Speaker John Boehner, Republicans, whose children had …
