Moms Talk invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families throughout the Lehigh Valley.
Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.
Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up the Lehigh Valley will have a new resource for questions about schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.
Moms Talk will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic.
Introducing our Mom’s Council
Each week, the members of our Moms Council will help to shape the Moms Talk discussion – by suggesting Moms Talk topics and by being among the first to join the conversation.
- Lisa Amey, of Upper Milford Township, is a stay-at-home mom to an 8-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter. A past president of the MOMS Club of Emmaus and long time member of MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers), Lisa is an Independent Consultant for Arbonne International.
- Lisa Drew, of Emmaus, is a certified nutritionist and personal trainer, wellness and fitness coach with more than 17-years experience. She is the mother of a 13-year-old girl and a 9-year-old boy.
- Jennifer Elston, of Emmaus, has almost two decades of professional experience in child development and counseling. She is currently a stay-at-home mom to two beautiful girls. Together with her husband, Chris, she owns Christopher Elston Photography.
- Lisa Merk, of Lower Macungie, is a stay-at-home mother of four boys – a 12-year-old and 6-year-old triplets. Lisa is a past president of the MOMS Club of Lower Macungie East. In her “spare” time, Lisa teaches piano to school-age children.
So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with a question from Moms Council member Lisa Merk
What would you do if you were out somewhere in the community and saw your 15-year-old neighbor smoking cigarettes with a group of friends? Would you approach him/her right then and there to address the issue? Would you wait to talk to him/her until later? Would you tell the parents? Or, would you not do anything at all?
Share your thoughts and stories with us in the comments.
If you would like to become a part of the Moms Council and/or have ideas for future Moms Talk questions, please email Jennifer.marangos@patch.com.
Jennifer Elston
3:21 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
I would not approach the child right then and there. I would, however, speak with him/her privately later that day. I would ask about his choice to smoke & would persuade him into taking responsibility and telling his parents. I would be up front and tell him I would plan on discussing it with his parents at a given time. I do feel if I did nothing, then I would not be acting in the best interest of the child. Either way, if it were my child, I would want to know!
Jasmine
6:03 pm on Thursday, March 8, 2012
I am a teenager and if my neighbor caught me smoking and told my mom before talking to me first I would be extremely irate and offended. She wouldn't necessarily know the circumstances, so just reporting to my mother would be out of place and nosey.
Lisa Drew
3:29 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
What to do if you caught a neighbor child smoking? Not an easy question to answer. Do the child's parent's smoke? Are they with other kid's smoking or by themself? How old is the child? If it were me, I would talk to the child first. Let them know that I saw them and use it as a teaching moment about the effects of smoking. Tell the child you are telling the parents. If you know the neighbors well and don't think there is danger within the household then you along with the child tell the parents. If you think there is danger within the household then keep the confidence between you and the child. Be the adult that the child can come to with questions and/or help.
Lisa Merk
5:31 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
If I had a relationship with the parents I would contact them first and let them decide on how to handle it. If i didn't know the home situation, I would wait to talk to the child at a more appropriate time, certainly not in front of his peers.
Lisa Amey
5:48 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
I wouldn't be comfortable doing nothing, even if I didn't know the family that well. I think most parents would want to know about this. Since in this scenerio, the child is 15 and with friends, I would not approach them at the time, but would wait until there was an opportunity to talk with the teen later. I would then let them know with a non-threatening spirit of caring that I plan on promptly informing the parents, even if they ask me not to. I would offer that we could tell the parents together if that would make it easier for the teen.
Matt
6:07 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
why are there so many women named Lisa commenting on this?
Jennifer Marangos
7:50 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
Matt - I am guessing that these moms are all about the same age and that Lisa was a popular name when they were born. I know I graduated high school with five Jennifers!
Lisa Merk
8:43 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
If you yelled Jennifer or Lisa down in hallway in my high school AT LEAST 20 girls turned around!
Robert Lynch
8:46 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
I think people should mind their own business and worry about their own issues.
Jennifer Marangos
9:24 pm on Sunday, April 10, 2011
You make a good point Robert. I tend to sit on the "mind your own business" side of the fence with most issues. But, on this question, I kept coming back to the old "if it were my kid, I would want to know."
Pat Vallese
7:42 am on Monday, April 11, 2011
The parents should know; and it's very hard to hide the fact that you are smoking. The smell is on your clothes, your hair, your breath. Now the young adult has to hide the pack, So by alerting just the parent of what you observed, they can proceed in catching their child......"Where have you been?..your breath smells like an ash tray"......."Who's cigs are these?" They say it takes a village to raise a child...., but something like this is best left with the parents.
suzy
7:55 am on Monday, April 11, 2011
Wasn't so sure I wanted to put my name in the mix and comment, but I just can't help myself. Having been a teenage smoker (cause we thought it made up cool - not!) I have no choice but to chime in. First off , Pat - there are plenty of ways to cover up the smell of a casual teen smoker - cause I am guessing they don't really have opportunity to smoke a whole heck of a lot so its not linger too much, but I really like what you say about putting the parent on alert, but I think that will only work if you are friends with the child's parents. Although - beware of backfire. Very often, especially in today's world, parents will defend their children, even when in the wrong. Its a tricky situation and the answer depends on may variables. Now this scenario has occurred in my own neighborhood, with friends of my own kids and the way I have handled it has been to speak to my own children about it, how I feel about smoking, and perhaps they can pass that information along to the kid who is smoking...
One other comment - don't be so sure the parent of the kid doesn't already know and has chosen to stick their head in the sand!
Pat Vallese
8:34 am on Monday, April 11, 2011
I am glad you said all of that suzy............yea I too smoked as a teen (parliments)...smoked maybe 5 at the dance, then threw away the pack....did not want to be caught. But in my era, it was a village that raised the child. Practical strangers would grab you and shake you for doing stupid things back in the day, and if you told your parent, the next question would be "What did you do?", followed by "well Jr., your grounded, and my parents would thank the neighbor down the block for looking out for me. Those days are over, what with law suit crazy people . As bad as smoking is......I've read of an increase of reported underage drinking permeating thru the High School. You tell a teen not to do something, they more then likley will do it for spite; where as a parent can apply pressure, as well as words of wisdom. It starts and ends in the home.......might just be better for everyone to just be concerned about your family.
Miller
11:23 am on Monday, April 11, 2011
but here we go with CIY people r so quick to call on other people.. you dnt know wat goin on in that house and its non of your buisness...if people would mind their own i think the kids would be much better..everybody is worried about what other kids are doin..they should worry about their own kids
Rosemary B
1:31 pm on Monday, April 11, 2011
But, what other kids do effects our kids and the society at large. Our kids might be asked to cover up for their kids, ect. Getting away with smoking might embolden the kid to then try other dangerous behavior. And what if it is pot or drinking? It can put us all at risk if it is not nipped in the bud.
Jennifer Elston
7:48 pm on Monday, April 11, 2011
I think that by looking the other way, one is taking the easy way out. Sure, it's easy to keep quiet. It takes compassion and humanity to help someone. This is a child we are talking about, yes? It is against the law to smoke at that age. Until he is of legal age, he is under his parents' guidance, and they need to know that the child is smoking. It's true that no one really knows what is going on in others' homes. If the parents are already aware then at least you can say you've not sat idle watching a child make a poor choice.
Miller
8:50 pm on Monday, April 11, 2011
Rose mary.. the reason the kids r the wasy they r is cause society..back when my parents were kids u got the crap bet out of u and u learned ur leason the first time.. and my parents are good ppl...Society lets theese kids get away with almost anyhting u cant do anything or someone will call CIY on u so ur dam if u do and dam if u dnt
ArtmamaJen
9:33 am on Tuesday, June 7, 2011
It's hard enough keeping track of and worrying about what my own children are doing. I certainly don't need to be getting into my neighbors and their families' business.