What Would Happen if Adult Behaviors Were Graded?
Children know their day-to-day actions are being monitored at home and school. How different would things be if adults were evaluated on a similar system?
Last week I was driving behind a school bus as it delivered morning kindergarten students to their prospective bus stops.
My windows were down, the sunroof was open, the sun was shining, and my heart warmed as I heard one father eagerly ask his daughter, “Did you get a gold star today?” as she jumped off the bus. She nodded her head with a beaming smile as he gave her a bear hug.
Initially I thought it was so sweet, this dad genuinely inquiring about his youngster's morning at school. But then another thought occurred to me.
When do we stop being graded on our daily behavior?
Stars, smiley faces, and green, yellow and red circles are awarded to children every day at school based on the way they act toward one another, how respectful they are to the teacher, and if they follow the rules.
Naturally, this is a hypothetical sort of question, but it caused me to pause and ponder this concept.
If adults knew they were being graded, day in and day out on their actions and words, would we live in a better society? Would people be more conscious of their criticisms, their judgments on others? Would they be more kind?
I know there are days where I would certainly go from the green to the yellow color on the stoplight chart. Depending on what’s going on, I might even drop to red. Fortunately I’m at a point in life where no one is calling home to tell my mom that I’ve been a naughty girl.
But what if they did? Sounds silly at this point in life, but in a way it would be an interesting study in adult behavior.
Out of a group of 100 adults on any given day, how many would get the gold star? How many would drop to yellow circle on the stoplight? How many might end up with a frown face on their daily behavior chart?
Some days my patience is worn thin. I’m more likely to yell at my kids when I should really be taking a step back and communicating in a calmer tone. I would have to give myself a yellow light on that.
Or maybe I’ll go the extra mile to have something baked fresh when they walk in the door. Certainly that earns me a gold star for the day, right?
Let’s try our own little experiment this week and see how many gold stars we can put on our behavior charts! What have you done to earn a green circle on the stoplight?
Or better yet, maybe we can share some encouragment by awarding our friends with smiley faces in a public comment. Think about it ... who do you know who has done something "gold-star-worthy" today?
What would happen if adult behaviors were graded?
Tell us in the comments.
Joel Bieler/Debbie Garlicki
10:27 am on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Good column, Jenae. Worthy of thought. With all the anonymous commenting that goes on on the internet today and fact that people can say anything with impunity, it might be worth stepping back and thinking about your behavior. Maybe that is the problem. Type first, think later, or not think at all about how your words might hurt another human being or a group of people.
Jenae Holtzhafer
11:24 am on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Thanks Joel/Debbie! I agree! It's depressing to see how quick people are to attack. Wish more would shoot for those gold stars each day!
Daryl Nerl
12:06 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
I think Jenae gets a gold star for this column!
Jenae Holtzhafer
2:15 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Thanks for the smile, Daryl. :)
Mary Ellen Alu
12:15 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Yeah....I'm trying to be more polite today.
slyfox
12:45 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
I should get a gold star I think - I picked up my husbands socks *again* after reminding him to do so for the umpteenth +4 million times. lol! :)
Mary Ellen Alu
1:20 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Gold Star slyfox!
Jenae Holtzhafer
2:15 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
That's a WHOLE other column, Slyfox!! :)
AnnaMarie Zeravsky
1:29 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Last week a customer service rep went above and beyond to help me over the phone even though she could tell how frustrated I was. I was so impressed with how Kristen (the customer service rep) handled the situation, that I then called back to let Kristen's manager know that she had an amazing employee working for her company. 2 days later, I received an express package with a thank you card and a reusable coffee mug from Kristen's manager for making her aware of how awesome Kristen is. I think the 3 of us all deserved a gold star!
Jennifer Marangos
1:59 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Wow, AnnaMarie, great story! And, you get a gold star for sure! After reading Jenae's column yesterday, I was inspired to make a batch of cornbread for my kids to have with dinner, since they love it so. My mom called me in the middle of making the batter, and I apparently neglected to add the baking soda and salt. I think my family gets a gold star (and maybe some Pepto) for eating the rather dense, corn-flavored item that emerged from the oven!
tamarya
2:03 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
We are being graded more than anything. If children screw up or do bad they answer to mom and dad, however we screw up we answer to the law.
Crestor Januvia
2:33 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
I yelled at an old lady today.
Daryl Nerl
4:45 pm on Wednesday, October 10, 2012
FAIL, Crestor.
Mary Anne Looby
1:43 pm on Thursday, October 11, 2012
Yesterday I spent the day lunching and shopping with my daughter who is 32. During the course of the day she spoke to a number of people, both in person and on the phone. I could not help but say to her "jeez, you are so nice to everybody", her response was that she was raised to be that way! She gets a gold star, I need to go back to school and relearn what I taught!!!
Carl W
3:57 pm on Thursday, October 11, 2012
I just feel good doing nice things for friends & strangers, eveyday. Spreads niceness - makes people happier. (Living near I-78 exits, often explain, and if difficult, suggest people follow me to their destinations). (Also, like to be ambassador of good for Allentown)! :-)